What Would Have Happened If YOU Caused That Spill?

Think for a minute. It shouldn’t even take that long. Let’s say you and buddy were hiking through southwestern Colorado near the town of Durango. You come upon an old gold mine…and accidentally breach a debris dam, a dam that is designed to hold toxic waste and toxic chemicals from seeping into a nearby river. Oops. Sorry!

Do you think the EPA would have bought that argument and forgave you? Somehow, I think not. Somehow, I think Gina McCarthy would have been all over you like a bum on a bologna sandwich. She’d have you locked in irons, paraded in front of the masses in Durango, and then in Washington, DC, and had you drawn and quartered. Your family would have been forced to pay every penny they ever made for six generations, and anything that was left of your sorry ass would have been locked away in a maximum security prison forever. Hell, your name would have been muddier than George W. Bush!

So, what happens when the EPA causes the mess? The mess that is slowly making its way to the Colorado River, and the drinking water of the majority of people living in the southwestern United States? The wicked witch of the east stands before a microphone in DC, shakes her head a few times and says she’s absolutely sick that it happened, and they are busting their rear ends to make sure that it’s cleaned up. OH! I get it. It’s ok that Gina McCarthy screwed up. It’s ok that HER people breached that dam, and that Barack Obama hasn’t done anything drastic like fire her 3 foot 8 inch ass. It’s ok that the regional director in Colorado got John Higenlooper, the Democratic Colorado governor to visit Durango and say that city is alive and well and open for business and oops…even the EPA is allowed to make mistakes every now and again.

Nope. Not buying it here in the desert. What happened because of the EPA is criminal. At the very least, the EPA regional director should be put behind bars and fined the cost of the cleanup and Gina McCarthy should be fired. No, correct that, she should be fired and forced to drink a gallon of that sludge that I’m going to be forced to drink in another three days when it reaches out water table.

Instead, nothing will happen to either. The EPA, who wants to win the “war on coal” will skate because the major networks don’t think this is a news story…yet the southwest is faced with eco-terrorism at the highest level. I sure as hell hope that Epcor Water (the folks that provide us with water here in the Valley of the Sun) knows how to get all of that shit out of the drinking water. Or I’m going to be owning a water company that I’d prefer not to own…and Gina McCarthy can be my dog-walking bitch until she dies!

Carry on world…you’re dismissed

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