Yeah…Another One I Didn’t Write…

But I gotta tell you…it makes all the sense in the world! There really ARE some smart people out there! This one was written by a law student.

*Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:*
*We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the*
*sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election
process has made me realize that I want a divorce.*
*I know we tolerated each other for many years for the
sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has
clearly run its course.*

*Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever
agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on
friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to
irreconcilable differences and go our own way.*

*Here is our separation agreement:*

*–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country
by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.*

*–We don’t like re-distributive taxes so you can keep
them.*
*–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.*
*–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the
NRA, and the military.*
*–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal
mines, and you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel.*
*–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell.
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of them.*
*–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.*
*–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers,
food stamps, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens**.*
*–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms,
*greedy CEOs, and rednecks.*
*–We’ll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles, and give you*
*NBC and Hollywood.*
*–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and*
*we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places*
*that threaten us.*
*–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.*
*–**When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help
provide them security.*
*–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.*
*–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political
correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.
but we will no longer be paying the bill.*
*–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized
luxury cars. You can take every Volt Tesla and Leaf you can
find**.*
*–You can give everyone healthcare if you can find*
*any practicing doctors.*
*–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”*
*and* “The National Anthem.”*
*–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine,”*
*”I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” “Kumbaya,”*
*or “We Are the World.”*
*–We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue
to give trickle up poverty your best shot.*
*–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history,*
*our name and our flag.*
*Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do
not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly
parting, I’ll bet you might think about which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years**.*

*P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie
Sheen, George Clooney, Barbara Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane
Fonda with you.**.*

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