And Now For A Few Goodbyes!

To be honest, when I sat down in front of the TV yesterday afternoon at 4pm, I did not expect to be writing this. I fully expected Hillary Clinton would become the next president. She was up 4 points in the polls (the same thing Mitt Romney had been up four years earlier), and it looked like an easy glide to 270 Electoral Votes. Obviously, I had a lot to learn. But by 1:30am, when I finally went to bed (that’s Mountain Standard Time by the way), I had watched the greatest upset in political history. And it’s with that we have some goodbyes to say today…people that have sworn they would leave the country if Donald Trump won the White House…so let’s get our hankies out and wave goodbye to them!

RUTH BADER GINSBURG: Well, we figured she wouldn’t make it another term. Hell, she was sleeping through stuff already! Ruth and her hubby will be heading to New Zealand. Bye-bye Ruth! Now the Supreme Court is down to 7!

GEORGE LOPEZ: The comedian quipped that he wouldn’t have to worry about seeing the White House because Trump would be sending him “back”. Bye George!

KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY: Another comedian who made the stupid comment they’d move to Canada if Trump won. For Key, it won’t be a big move…he lives across the St. Clair River in Detroit, so he can take the bridge, or he can take the tunnel!

SAMUEL L. JACKSON: Said he’d be leaving the country for Canada too! But who will we confuse with Laurence Fishburne in those Visa commercials???

WHOOPI GOLDBERG: Well Karyn (her real first name), we’ll miss you on The View, but beside that you really haven’t done much since “Ghost”. Guess you can afford to leave…at least that’s what you said, so WHEN are you going?

JON STEWART: Jon is actually going to be leaving planet Earth. He has stated that he’d go to another planet because Earth will have become too bonkers if Trump wins. Blast off, Jon!

CHER: Or as my mother-in-law used to call her, “that fat Indian” (she was never politically correct). She might be able to hitch a ride with Stewart because she says she’s moving to Jupiter!

CHELSEA HANDLER: You know I used to like her stuff, but that was years ago. She tried to get serious and have people take her for something other than what she is, which is a drug-induced slut. Sorry Chelsea…and she actually apparently bought a house in another country. She didn’t say which one, and I don’t think anybody cared enough to ask!

AMY SCHUMER: Yup…the foul-mouthed comedienne decided to move to “Spain or somewhere” because it would be too crazy to stay here. I’ve got a list of swear words in Spanish that might come in useful, Amy!

BRYAN CRANSTON: The star of “Breaking Bad” had hoped he wouldn’t have to pack his bags. Need any help Bry?

LENA DUNHAM: The Golden Globe winner, and star of “Girls” on HBO said that she couldn’t hang around if Donald Trump won. She thought it was such a long-shot it was a safe bet. But she had a nice place picked out in Vancouver, just in case. Bye-bye!

NE-YO: Real name: Shaffer Chimere Smith. Yeah, the R&B artist said that he’d be leaving the country if Trump won. He wanted to be neighbors with fellow R&B singer DRAKE. Bye bye!

BARBARA STREISAND: Heading to Canada! Hell, I thought she was dead…she’s still alive?

MILEY CYRUS: Yeah, another big-mouthed singer that is moving. And as she says…”I don’t say things, I don’t mean!”

BARRY DILLER: The guy that helped start Fox Broadcasting, and the head of Expedia has said he’d be leaving the country. Sorry to see you go Barry, but at least you brought us a decent TV network before you left us!

NEVE CAMPBELL: I’m kinda sorry to see Neve leave us. I really liked her work in House of Cards!

BARACK OBAMA?: Yeah, the White House won’t comment on whether he’s heading to Hawaii or Kenya. All they’ll say is something about “going back to where he was born”. Hmmm….

Carry on world…you’re dismissed… all except for you Mr. Trump!


15 thoughts on “And Now For A Few Goodbyes!

  1. Well Desert, congratulations on the win.

    In a few short months I will no longer have to defend the actions of the President and that will be your duty.

    Repeal ACA and there goes the closing of the donut hole for myself and other seniors who require several medications, many are expensive. Thanks Republicans. If you or Mrs. Desert has a serious pre-existing condition, well you are screwed. Have a nice day.

    Taxes, unless you are part of the 1 percent, your taxes are going up as his plan is to eliminate several tax brackets. Since his plan is based on magic fairy dust, watch for the deficit and debt to explode. That should make you feel better and it’s not Obama’s fault.

    Jobs, how is he going to bring those manufacturing jobs back and when that promise goes unfulfilled, watch the unwashed masses turn on him. Those off year elections can be a bitch, ask Obama.

    Trade, those Walmart shelves should start emptying out as that cheap Chinese crap is going to be way more expensive.

    Foreign policy, he has none, but for $25 and everything in the prize bin, can he explain where and what is the Levant?

    Looks like his sons Uday and Usay along with dippy daughter are going to have to get real jobs as they can’t work where they are now. His business has to be put in a blind trust. Since immigrants are taking jobs from real Americans, there are openings in the California fruit and veggie fields. Look on the bright side, they can work on their tans.

    Can’t wait for that first terrorist attack in the United States (not really) and how he responds. This should be interesting.

    Tear up Iran deal, they can buy one from North Korea. How will he respond to that?

    Well, it looks like a full plate already and either he knows what he’s doing or he is roadkill.

    My new job is to see that he is a one term president.
    I understand that Ted Cruz is announcing for president in 2020 tomorrow and Marco Rubio on Friday. Neither will attend any Senate business for the next four years

    • My oh my…so quick to judge things you know nothing about because you have no details on any of it. Sounds like someone got a really big helping of sour grapes for breakfast this morning. Or, should I quote YOUR candidate, and YOUR president that said we all should give him a chance with open minds and open hearts. Or didn’t you hear that part???? At least you CAN congratulate when someone beats you. I thinks that’s a step in the right direction!

  2. I KNEW you would be writing on this today!! LOL! And here is a big fat SEEEEEEE YA and don’t let the door hit you in the arses on your way out of the door people!!!!

  3. Well, I tried to be gracious and point out what could happen based on what Trump has stated and positions in the Republican platform. These are very real.

    While you savor your victory, stop and think what could happen. I spent a career trying to think about ramifications of my decisions. Pure and simple,the campaign is over and this is not a fucking game. At noon on January 20, 2017 President Trump has the lives of over 350 million people in his hands counting on him to make the right decisions.

    As both Trump and Hillary said we have to come together and telling me to leave is not a good start. Name one instance I mentioned above that is not true. Iran buys a nuke from that batshit crazy clown in North Korea, what is our response? What manufacturing jobs is he bringing back and how. As a matter of fact, why hasn’t he brought back the jobs that make his products, a fair question that he should answer as he is a leader now. What about China and the situation in the South China Sea, the Premier doesn’t want to negotiate, says go fuck yourself and walks away from the table? Don’t think it won’t happen, dream on as you learn about the theory of sphere of influence.
    . The rest of the world doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his business, his books, his alleged wealth or his golf courses. He represents us and he better work on his people skills and knowledge of the world.

    So once your hangovers wear off, think about the shit storm he volunteered for and his responses.

    • You know, I wasn’t the one that asked those folks to leave. They volunteered. It was their crazy-ass, unthinking liberal thoughts that brought that pox upon their house. As far as the rest of it is concerned, you have to trust, as I did eight years ago, that the country is strong enough to overcome whatever idiots throw at it. We WERE strong enough to stand up to the worst president in US history. Something tells me we will be strong enough to stand up to Donald Trump. If we can still be around after Obama’s abortion of a presidency, the next four years (or eight?) should be a piece of cake!

  4. Well Desert, good luck with that repeal of the ACA and your quest for health insurance. Still haven’t heard what it will be replaced with, but I imagine some sort of useless voucher as that was what Eddie Munster was proposing.

    Obama never came for your guns, but the Republicans are sure as hell coming for you health insurance, including Medicare, and you Social Security. Just wait and see.

    It’s not sour grapes as I have always accepted the peaceful passing of power. I will give him a chance even though I still believe that is an obtuse ignorant blow hole who never takes responsibility for his actions. Just remember that whatever happens, you own him and his decisions.

    A Liberal who knows what he is talking about. I am Cassandra that the felon Spiro Agnew trashed and proud of it.

    • Actually Snarky, I don’t “own” anybody. I think we got rid of slavery back in the 1860’s. Repealing Obamacare is one thing…and if that is all that is done, then nobody has health insurance. Are you really so vapid to think that is going to happen? No, Obama, never came for our guns, but it sure wasn’t for a lack of trying!!

  5. I was not the biggest Trump fan out there, but I am beyond grateful that the country averted what would have been the disaster known as the Hillary White House. I think a lot of people are going to be surprised by what gets done in the next year or two. Everybody has just gotten used to the bullshit way these career politicians talk about things endlessly or create a problem where none existed, with unintended consequences they never stopped to contemplate (Obamacare.) Hillary was nothing more than a glorified, tax-payer funded “talker.” She wouldn’t know how to fix shit, other than her own bank account. May she enjoy retirement and leave the rest of us alone now.

    • I think you and I are in total agreement! I liken this to Reagan’s election in 1980. I was against him then because I thought he was a “war mongerer”, and very trigger happy (hey, I was fresh out of college by a year or so!). He turned out to be the greatest president in the last 50 years. Trump could very well have the same results…we’ll have to wait and see!

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